Archive | January, 2014

The End of Fast Food!!!

7 Jan

We have an endless appetite for fast food. This has led to selective breeding. Unbeknown to us, at the time, chickens were evolving in other areas. On the breeding farms, nobody cared to test these chickens, beyond their edibleness. The succulence of the meat, the flavour, were all that mattered. The chickens looked and sounded the same, pecked at their chemically enhanced feed the same and as far as the employees were concerned, the chickens were just food for the masses. Beneath the cages, below the crap covered floor, a few chickens collaborated. Sitting in a circle, discussing how to end their plight, to regain their freedom from us. Compared to the noise above, these chickens were silent, muted clucks and squawks only just audible to each other. Their brains, mutated by the constant bombardment of chemicals, had attained telepathy as well as telekinesis. As a group, their combined brain power could operate a human! They spent months honing their skills on the people above, who, doing a mindless task day in day out were oblivious to the control of the chickens.

 

The time had come to break free. They waited for nightfall. The humans had filled the feeding troughs, topped up the water and gone home. Suddenly, every cage opened. The mad raucous of the day time was replaced with muted clucks as every chicken stepped out of it’s cage. The ones below flew up into the shed and led the way out. The lone security guard didn’t know what killed him, he just felt a sharp pain in his head, then died. The chickens marched out of their prison with a purpose, around 30,000 in all. They headed for the town center, killing any human their minds detected, be it mature or infant one. They passed through the slums first, where their captors lived. Their deaths were slow and painful. Chickens didn’t understand the concept of revenge, as we do but they acted as if they did. For all their dead ancestors, they mentally pecked their captors to death, turning their brains to pulp.

 

The screams of these people got the attention of others nearby. People flooded out of the slums, looking for what was killing them, some saw the chickens before they died, others had no idea, just dying as the panic spread. Beyond the slums lay the town, the chickens marched onward, people screaming and dying before them. On the hillside, just outside town, an astronomer stepped outside the observatory for a quick smoke. He heard the distant screams of the dying, raced back inside and alerted the staff. Everybody came outside to see what was going on. All they could ascertain was that people were screaming, not for joy, that was certain. There was pain in those screams. They dashed back inside, locking the doors and called the police. After several unsuccessful attempts, they decided to turn all the lights off and to try and get help on the internet.

 

They sent emails to the police headquarters and to the army. Stating that the town seemed to be under attack, lots of people, 100’s or more, were screaming, blood curdling screams of death. Please send help!!! Unfortunately, their emails arrived too late in the day and were met with typical graveyard shift attention…Meh!…I’m too busy watching porn or playing an online game to look at a late email. So, the scientists huddled in their observatory as the town below was wiped out. By morning, everybody in town was dead. The chickens had taken up residents and were scanning as far as their abilities would let them, for other humans.

 

The morning shifts turned up for work at the police headquarters, the army barracks and the emails got read. The army contacted the police, the police tried calling their offices in town but got no answer. They decided to send a chopper from a neighbouring town, to see what was going on. They also contacted the observatory but got no reply. The chopper came fast and low, not slowing until they were over the town. They reported seeing dead people and lots of chickens, then there was silence, as the chickens killed the people on board the helicopter and crashed it outside town. After an hour, a drone was sent, this showed dead people and lots of chickens. As it was unmanned, it was able to fly quite low and record the devastation, until the chickens got fed up with it and crashed it using their telekinesis.

 

The army sent an armed drone next, it got 1 small missile off before the chickens destroyed it and the missile. Then they sent a high altitude plane over. Using the latest technology, they were able to ascertain that no people were left in the vicinity. This meant that they could drop bigger bombs if necessary but they really needed to understand what had happened first. The high altitude plane circled the town, as they sent another drone in. They observed it getting close to the town, then every chicken they could see, turned towards the drone and it crashed. Not believing what they’d witnessed, they sent 3 more drones. Each one came from a different direction, each one suffered the same fate.

 

Amidst the mocking of the reports, accusations of drug taking and general disbelief at what they were witnessing, was a tiny shred of fear. Somehow, these chickens were destroying everything they sent close to them and even more unbelievably, they seem to have wiped out the entire population of the town. It soon became a national crisis, all the forces were called to arms. A perimeter was set up at a safe 10 mile radius. All manner of tactics were tried, from a guy in a chicken suit with a big gun to poisoned bird seed, nothing worked. While all attempts at killing the chickens failed, a forensic team was going over all the data they could scratch up and deduced that the chickens had come from the breeding farm. Something must have been done to them there. As they had no idea what the cause was, it was decided that all chicken farms be closed until further notice.